You've Got Mail! (I've got your money.) Don't you wish you could get a customized greeting when you connect to AOL? (Yeah, me neither, just play along.) Well, El Edwards, the self-professed "Voice of You've Got Mail," will be happy to record a personal AOL welcome message for you. Happy to do it for ten bucks that is. Twelve if you want him to say something other than "You've Got Mail." If you want all five AOL sounds customized with your name, it will set you back twenty five samoleans. (Where does that word come from anyway?) In case you were wondering if he gets royalties, his FAQ states, "I don't discuss my finances with anyone besides my wife, Karen..... I mean, really, do you discuss your finances with just anyone who asks you??" It seems to me the proper response is, of course not, otherwise why would I be charging ten bucks for a lame wav file? Curiously, he also cautions that he "won't record anything with foul language, that takes the Lord's Name in vain or that denegrates AOL©."



Groucho Marx died twenty five years ago today, so I leave you with my all-time favorite Groucho quote: "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

  ¶ 3:29 AM